Living Like A Man After God's Own Heart

“9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (Romans 12:9-16) [NIV]

Is there a man in the house? If so, have you ever wondered what a real, godly man looks like?

Sadly to say, many children in our community will go to bed tonight without a man in the house.

How did we get from Ricky and Lucy to Ricky Martin? What happened to cause this hug shift in our society? Well we need first of all to understand a little bit of our past culture in order to answer this question.

In the 1950's it is was an exception to find the absence of a man in the house. I remember as a young boy hearing for the first time that someone was getting a divorce and how confused I was with that. I didn't know anyone who had been divorced. Yes there were problems, but they were different in the 1950's than we have today. Post war men came back, in my parents generation, came to know Christ, you do that when your at war, … with dreams of being married, having a family, buying a car and owning a home.

In the 1960's again, it was an exception to find a home without a father and divorce was still not a very common thing. This, however, was the decade that the American male began his evolution. It was the decade that sex was separated from responsibility. It was the time known as “peace”, “flower child”, LSD and free sex.

Along came the 1970's with it's feminist movement. Men's roles began to shift in the home and family. He began to think “who am I” and “what am I”? He went from being John Wayne to being Richard Simons.

The 1980's was the decade of greed, power, buy, buy, buy, earn, earn, earn, work, work, and work some more. Men would go home completely exhausted not having any energy left to be men at home, play with their kids, and be the leader, thus surrendered that role to the wife.

1990's We have men who grew up thinking that the goal to life was to play. How many of you have seen grown men acting like young boys? The goal of most men in the 90's was to play and make lots of money. I remember growing up with teachers, Dr.'s, coaches, police men, and astronauts being my heros. Who are our boys hero's today? It's the entertainers, it's the athletes who are winning the attention of our boys.

Let me share some facts we need to be concerned about. Nineteen percent of babies born in America are born out of a traditional marriage. They will grow up never knowing their fathers or experiencing their love for them. The National Center For Children And Poverty tell us boys who are raised without a father in the home are two times more likely to drop out of school, two times more likely to go to jail, and four times more likely to suffer emotional problems requiring treatment.

William Pollack in his book, “Real Boys”, states that divorce affects both boys and girls, but that it is devastating for males. The lack of discipline and supervision caused by a father's absence and his unavailability to teach boys to be men has devastating effects on them.

What's the basic problem? Absent fathers, absent fathers, absent fathers and more absent fathers. It's a vicious cycle. Fatherless families are producing fatherless families.

Dr. Eliam in his book “Raising A Son”, says that the reason there are so many troubled boys is contributed to distant uninvolved fathers, resulting in mothers who have to take on more responsibility to fill the gaps.

Sociologist Peter Carl states that eighty percent of a boys time is spent with women resulting in not knowing how to act as a man when they grow up. The relationship between the sexes is affected and men become more like big kids. And in the homes that the father is present but not involved the wife becomes confused. She sees a man in the market place who is in control, who rules with authority, a man who is involved in his occupation and then comes home and spending the rest of the evening on the lazy boy with remote control in hand ignoring his children and in his wife.

This Sunday we are going to wrap up our r12 series taking an overall look at Romans 12:9-16). As you read this passage of scripture ask yourself, “What does 'Living Like A Man After God's Own Heart” look like? What are the qualities listed in these verses? Write them down and you also strive to live your life according to the list you came up with.

Open:

What is your favorite memory with your father, step father, (father figure) or grandfather?

Explore:

How does it make you feel after reading the statistics and facts above?

Have you been affected by the “culture shift” and the “redefining of man”? If so, how?

Read (Romans 12:9-16) What are the characteristics of a godly “person” that you identified? Here is a list I came up for with: be sincere (v. 9), be considerate (v. 10), be energetic (v. 11), be prayerfully patient (v. 12), be warm (v. 13), be different (v. 14), be understanding (v. 15), be one (v. 16).

Be honest, which one of these do you struggle with?

Which one of these do you do easily?

Apply:

This Sunday is Father's Day. Honestly evaluate your relationship with your father/father figure. How is your relationship with “him”? What needs to improve? Will you take the initiative? When?