“THE CHRISTIAN’S ARMOR: THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS”

For many of us, the issue of protecting our hearts has been something we have mastered over years of practice, resulting from experiencing some kind of emotional trauma growing up. Perhaps you may still be experiencing it.  Anytime we’re involved in relationships we subject ourselves to the potential of abuse, especially verbal abuse!

   

You have probably wished, at some point in the past, that you were wearing armor to protect your heart from hurtful people.

    

It has been my experience that good, moral, well-meaning people are capable of anything given the right circumstance, even hurting those that they love the most!

    

Basically, what it boils down to is this: hurt people hurt people! Too often, people who are hurting attack those that are closest to them with a barrage of lies mingled with hurtful words.

    

I am sure that you remember growing up and hearing this saying on the playground: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!”  I am here to tell you that that is just not true!  Words, especially lies about us, do hurt. They pierce right to the heart.

    

Where do those words, those lies come from? The Bible says that all lies originate with Satan himself.  He is known as “the father of lies”. So, anytime that we abuse someone by lying about them with insults, remember that you have just partnered with the great deceiver himself, Satan.

    

It has taken me a long time to understand who I am in Christ. And because I now understand who I am in Him, I no longer buy into the lies that Satan throws my way.

    

Jesus says that I am forgiven, that I have a new name and character. He says that He gave His life for me so that I may live. He says that I am a child of God who has been set apart for good works. He also says that I am righteous, not because of what I have done, but because of what Jesus did for me on the cross.

    

Jesus is now my righteousness who helps me stand up against the fiery arrows that Satan throws my way. He and I can now stand against the devil’s schemes.

    

The devil often attacks our heart - the seat of our emotions, self-worth, and trust. God’s righteousness is the breast plate that protects our heart and ensures His approval. He approves of us because He loves us and sent His Son to die for us.

    

Come this Sunday and be encouraged by God’s wonderful Word to us. I look forward to seeing you in Worship Service. Enjoy the study!

OBSERVATION:  What do I see? Read- Ephesians 6:14b

   

The second piece of armor is the breastplate of righteousness. Every believer is clothed with the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21), but he must also manifest integrity and uprightness in his personal life. Someone has said, “When a man is clothed in practical righteousness, he is impregnable. Word’s are no defense against accusation, but a good life is.” If  our conscience is void of offense toward God and man, the devil has nothing to shoot at. David put on the breastplate of righteousness in Psalm 7:3-5. The Lord Jesus wore it at all times (Isaiah 59:17)

    

The typical breastplate used by the Roman legions fell into four categories. Some were made out of leather and some out of  700 to 1,000 small interwoven rings per breastplate. High ranking officers sometimes had breastplates produced form two single pieces of molded bronze, one for the back and the other for the front. The two halves were tied together with short strips of leather in the back and front. Bronze, although not the strongest metal known in the first century had the advantage of being lightweight.

    

In this era, when hand-to-hand combat was almost always necessary, soldiers had to balance protection with ease of movement. The discomfort of the breastplate around the neck was usually softened by a woolen scarf.

    

The function of the breastplate was simple - to protect the soldier’s vital organs. In close and-to-hand combat the breastplate was essential for survival. No trained Roman soldier would venture into battle without it. If we start to believe that our own righteousness, effort, or good works can make us worthy of God’s protection, the advantage quickly changes to benefit our enemy. Our righteousness is worthless in the battle. We need to get our eyes of of ourselves and back on the provision of the cross and the righteousness that is found in a relationship with Jesus.

Q-What image comes into your mind when your read the word “breastplate”?

INTERPRETATION: What does it mean?

Q- What does “put on the breastplate of righteousness” mean to you?

APPLICATION: How does it apply to my life?

Q- How can you put on the breastplate of righteousness? Name three ways.

SUPPLICATION: Where do I need God’s help?

Q-In what way has Satan attacked your heart with false accusations, your emotions, self-worth and trust. Would you take a moment and pray trusting God with it?

“THE CHRISTIAN’S ARMOR: THE BELT OF TRUTH”

They say that a sign of insecurity is seeing some old guy wearing both a belt and suspenders to hold up his pants!

    

We don’t understand the value and importance of a good belt until we don’t have one.

    

Many of you spent your summer months swimming as I did. I learned how to swim with the help of a bully uncle, pushing me into the “acequia madre” aka: main irrigation canal. The water was dirty, swift and treacherous and it was either sink or swim. I never took formal swimming lessons, but non-the less, with practice in the canals, I became a pretty good swimmer.

    

In my early teen years, I finally graduated to the public pools. Thank God for water you could actually see through! We looked forward to having my mom drive us to the pool, drop us off and pick us up about 4 hours later.

    

Since I was new to public pools, I had never jumped off anything higher than a tree stump, let alone a high diving board! I soon began gaining confidence by diving off the regular lower diving board and even started learning how to do some flips with my friend’s help and coaching. One day, I finally got up enough nerve to climb up the long ladder, step out to the end of the high dive board and after being coaxed and teased by friends, I took the plunge!

    

For a brief moment, everything seemed to be going smoothly until I hit the water, head first, in a near perfect dive. Suddenly I felt the water-force strip my trunks down to my ankles. There I was, thinking I was so cool with my “bare necessities” exposed. Thank God that my toes were able to hang on to my trunks and kept me from loosing them completely!

    

These were my very first pair of store bought swimming trunks. Prior to this, I used to cut off my old blue jeans into shorts and use them as swim trunks. I didn’t know that the string I had found to be such a nuisance was actually there to serve a specific purpose! The reason I lost my trunks is that I had neglected to tie a knot in the lace intended as the belt. I had not properly used the belt provided.

    

Belts are a very important part of our attire. They are one of the most functional pieces of our clothing. They help support:  holding things in and keeping things up.

    

As we continue our study in the book of Ephesians, we’ll be taking a closer look at chapter 6 verse

14, which says, “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist” and strive to understand why this belt is so important to us as Christians, answering 3 pertinent questions about the “belt of truth”: 1. What does the “belt of truth” look like? 2. How does it protect me against Satan? 3. How do I put on the “belt of truth”?

OBSERVATION:  What do I see? Read- Ephesians 6:10-14

Q-List three key words from v.14 that are examples of contrasts and comparisons and purpose and result words.

INTERPRETATION: What does it mean?

(v. 10) Paul is coming to the close of his Epistle. Addressing all the family of God, he makes a stirring appeal to them as soldiers of Christ. Every true child of God soon learns that the Christian life is a continual warfare. The hosts of Satan are committed to hinder and obstruct the work of Christ and to knock the individual soldier out of combat. The more effective a believer is for the Lord, the more he will experience the savage attacks of the enemy: the devil does not waste his ammunition on nominal Christians. In our own strength, we are no match for the devil. So the first preparatory command is that we should be continually strengthened in the Lord and in the boundless resources of His might. God’s best soldiers are those who are conscious of their own weaknesses and ineffectiveness, and who rely solely on Him. “God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.” (1 Corinthians 1:27b) Our weakness commends itself to the power of His might.

    

(v. 11) The second command is concerned with the need for divine armor. The believer must put on the whole armor of God that he may be able to stand against the strategies of the devil. It is necessary to be completely armed; one or two pieces of armor will not do: nothing less than the whole panoply (complete or impressive collection of things) which God provides will keep us invulnerable!  The devil has various strategies he uses like frustration, discouragement, confusion, moral failure, and doctrinal error. He knows our weakest point and aims directly for it. If he cannot disable us by one method he will try another to defeat us!

    

(v. 14) The first piece of armor mentioned is the belt of truth. Certainly we must be faithful in holding the truth of God’s word, but it is also necessary for the truth to hold us! We must apply it to our daily lives. As we test everything by the truth, we find strength and protection in the combat.

Q-Paul uses the armor of a soldier to represent our spiritual strength for standing firm against Satan. What’s the analogy, the reality, and the meaning that Paul uses in (v. 14)?

    

APPLICATION: How does it apply to my life?

Q- On a scale of 1-10, (1: very low,10: very high), how would your rate your commitment to the truth? What needs to improve? How and when will you start?

SUPPLICATION: Where do I need God’s help?

Q-What practical change do you need to make to become a more effective soldier for Christ? Would you take a moment to pray and commit to Christ to begin TODAY to take the necessary steps to become more effective?

“PREPARING FOR SPIRITUAL BATTLE: THE CHRISTIAN’S ARMOR”

As a kid, I loved pretending to be a Roman soldier. I remember picking up any- thing from my dad’s construction material pile at home and using it as a part of my “armor”. I recall one particular time when my cousins and I even built a fire to heat up some rebar beating it down flat to make some really neat swords. After crafting our armor and weapons, we then assigned sides and finally, the war began! Oh the trouble we got into in those days! The funny thing is, I still like swords, bows and arrows. I guess we never do out grow the kid still in all of us!

At that young age, I never knew about or realized that the day would come when I would give my life to Christ, enlisting to be a genuine commando in God’s army.  The moment I gave my life to Christ, Satan waged war against me and, believe me, it has not stopped!  The Bible says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)

    

Boy, did Paul get it right! Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Too often we think that our battle is against another person, but in reality we have an adversary, an enemy, that is called “the prince of the power of the air”, also known as Satan. We are reminded that he is busy trying to destroy us. He is the one who battles against you daily.

    

Every time I say that, I remember a ‘70‘s comedian, Flip Wilson, saying, “The devil made me do it.”  In actuality, the devil gets way too much credit! Too often, we cave in to our temptations without as much as a skirmish. If you and I really desire to please God, we must learn to “fight the good fight” as Paul said, and call upon God for strength!

    

I no longer have to pretend that I have “armor” that I can wear for battle. If you read the passage referenced below, you will find that God has already given us ALL that we need to stand up to fight against Satan and to live victoriously. It’s simply a matter of “putting on the whole armor of God”. It’s not a physical armor, but spiritual weaponry, none the less, it is real armor worthy for a soldier of God!

    

We begin our study of God’s armor this Sunday as we look at “Preparing For Spiritual Battle”, laying a foundation for the upcoming weeks. I encourage you to do the study below and come prepared Sunday to worship.

OBSERVATION:  Read- Ephesians 6:10 & 11 What do I see?    

INTERPRETATION: What does it mean?

     (v. 10) “Be strong with the Lord’s mighty power” refers to strength derived from God, not strength we humans have to somehow obtain. The words “be strong” describes the continual empowering of the Christian community. God’s strength and power are part of the Kingdom blessings available to God’s people. The power that raised Christ from the dead also empowers God’s people as they prepare for the spiritual battles they must face on this earth.    

     (v. 11) God empowers his people, but he does not send them into battle unarmed. God’s people must put on ALL of God’s armor (see Romans 13:12). The “panoplia” (or full armor) means complete equipment, head-to-toe protection, both defensively and offensively. This gear was for hand-to-hand combat. This “armor of God”, as mentioned in Isaiah 59:17, describes God as wearing the breastplate of righteousness and the helmet of salvation. Paul wrote this letter while chained to a Roman soldier. Certainly the soldier’s armor must have brought this metaphor to mind. Paul described a divine and complete “outfit” that God gives believers in order to provide all we need to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of Satan, who rules the world of darkness, the kingdom opposed to God. “Stand against” was a military term meaning to resist the enemy, hold the position, and offer no surrender. Satan does not fight fair; he uses subtle tricks, schemes and strategies. Our ability to stand firm depends on our use of “the whole armor of God”.

APPLICATION: How does it apply to my life?

• (v. 10) Beginning with “Finally ...”, how does this section fit into this letter to the Ephesians?
• (v. 10) Where is the source of our strength? What does this imply about our own human strength? How available is this God-given strength for us? How do we tap into it? 
• Read the cross references and fill in the blank on God’s strength for His people:

1.   Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong .... for _________________________________.”

2.   Joshua 1:9 “_______________? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be   dismayed, for ________________________________________.”

3.   Psalm 27:14 “______________; Be strong, and let your heart take courage.”

4.    Psalm 31:24 “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, ALL you who ______________.”

5.    1 Corinthians 16:13 “______________, be strong.” 

6.     2 Timothy 2:1 “You therefore, my son, be strong _____________________.”

• (v. 11) What will using God’s full armor enable you to do/accomplish?
• (v. 11) What does the phrase “the devils schemes” tell you about Satan’s activity in this world today?

SUPPLICATION: Where do I need God’s help? What particular area of your life do you desire to see victory in? Take a moment and ask God to help you with it.

“A Biblical Model For Employee/Employer Relationships”

Mom and dad on her 65th Birthday

I thank mom and dad for instilling good work ethics in me. At 75 yrs. old, my dad still lays block and works hard right along side with his crew of masons. It amazes me just how strong he still is! I have never seen my dad mistreat or abuse any of his employees. And as a subcontractor, I have never seen him disrespect the general contractors he has done work for. I have a wonderful role model regarding employee/employer relationships.

I remember one hot summer day when I was out hoeing cotton near our home when I was 12 yrs. old. This was my very first job. I had aspirations of saving my money and buying myself a motor cycle to drive back and forth to junior high for my sport practices. It was an extremely hot day and I came home for lunch and informed my mom that it was too hot to work and that I was not returning back to work. In a calm voice, she asked me, “Son, did you inform your boss that you were not going back?” “No,” I answered. I saw her move towards the refrigerator and get the wire handled fly swatter and began to do what she had mastered, “smack the flies out of me” as she sent me on my way!

I thank God for mom and that experience. Because if it weren’t for her making me go back to work, in spite of the difficulties I was facing, I would have probably quit other things when they got too tough for me. It taught me respect and honor for my boss.

I strongly believe that this is missing in our society today. I often hear my nephews and nieces complain about their jobs and bosses and it grieves me. If only they would be grateful for the privilege to work and also understand that they need to obey and respect their bosses as they work for them. After all, they, just like us, they are representing Christ in the workplace!

Enjoy the study and may it spur you on to good works!

OBSERVATION - What do I see? (Ephesians 6:5-9) As you read the passage ask the Who? What? Where? When? How? questions.

INTERPRETATION - What does it mean?

For the last four months we have been going through the book of Ephesians, verse by verse, and I have to tell you that this has been one of the most fruitful series that I have taught.

We have seen couples who were living together commit to get married; parent and child relationships get restored; single adults vow themselves to remain pure until marriage; and most recently, men who were finally able to deal with the past hurts their parents had inflicted upon them in childhood. It amazes me what healing power the word of God has!

This week we continue our series looking at Ephesians 6:5-9. In this passage, it refers to slaves and masters. So, every time you come to the word “slave” substitute employee for it and when you come across the word “master” replace it with the word employer to put it in context.

The last three chapters of Ephesians can be set into four categories: 1. Walk in unity (4:1-16); 2. Walk in purity (4:17-20); 3. Walk in harmony (5:21-6:9); and 4. Walk in victory (6:9-24).

Slaves played a significant part in this society. There were several millions of them in the Roman Empire at this time. Because many slaves and owners had become Christians, the early church had to deal straightforwardly with the question of master/slave relations. Paul’s statement neither condemns nor condones slavery. Instead, it instructs masters and slaves how to live together in Christian households. In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves had few rights. In the church, however, they had freedoms that society denied them. Paul tells husbands, parents, and masters to be caring.

Paul’s instructions encourage responsibility and integrity on the job. Christian employees should do their jobs as if Jesus Christ were their supervisor. And Christian employers should treat their employees fairly and with respect. Can you be trusted to do your best, even when your boss is not around? Do you work hard and with enthusiasm? Do you treat your employees as people or machines? Remember that no matter whom you work for, and no matter who works for you, the one you should ultimately want to please is your Father in heaven.

Although Christians may be at different levels in earthly society, we are all equal before God. He does not play favorites; nor is one more important than another.  Paul’s letter to Philemon stresses this same point: Philemon, the master, and Onesimus, his slave, were brothers in Christ.

APPLICATION - How does it apply to my life?

• Do you remember your first job? What was it? What did you learn from it?
• How should a Christian employee’s responsibility to his employer reflect his relationship to Christ?

                  (v. 5) Obey and respect your boss.

                  (v. 6) Stop trying to impress your boss.

                  (v. 6b) Find God’s will in your work.

                  (v. 7) Picture God as your boss.

                  (v. 8) Look to the Lord’s reward.

                     Which do you struggle with? Why?

• How are employees often guilty of the prohibitions found in v. 6?
• What attitude does God tell employers to give up? Why?
• Employees, in what specific ways could you honor Christ more as you work with lost people daily?
• What attitude(s) that you have towards your employer or employees have come under question as you did the study? Take it to God in prayer and ask Him to change your heart.

"Do I Have To?"

A living miracle: our daughter, Tara
June 18, 2011

Many of you have been inquiring about how our daughter, Tara, is doing now after being intubated and in a coma for 2 weeks in ICU. So, here’s a letter she’s personally written to each of you!

Dear SVCC Family,

Praise God!  It’s been almost a month since I was released from the rehabilitation center and almost two months since I was admitted into ICU at UNMH.  What a relief to be back to normal and sharing God’s miracles with so many of you (and many others) from all over the world!

Thank you so much for your constant prayers, unending faith and support in so many ways.  God is so powerful and faithful that, at times, it can seem so unreal!  However, I have managed to beat the odds during this whole ordeal, but only with God’s grace.

Isn’t God good?  God has provided for my family when we thought even getting groceries would be a struggle.  He also provided when we didn’t know if we could pay rent or even continue to have a home.  In this hard time, God healed me in more ways than just physically.

After being so anxious to leave the rehabilitation center and many days of talking myself out of escaping, I was finally discharged.  This time was really difficult!  When relearning how to walk, shower and even holding a fork was difficult, the support of our church and church family helped us through it.  They were so faithful with prayers, food and visits.  I couldn’t wait to get out and share the truth of God’s love and power!

Sunday came quickly and God began to move.  We had been studying the book of Luke and the parables, in depth. This particular Sunday was on the parable of the children coming to God in the church.  We dove deep into what was really happening in this scripture, but God had already begun talking to me since I woke up from the coma.

God had brought to light the real meaning of faith for me.  True faith.  In this scripture we discussed how God was asking us to be like children and see Him thru the eyes of a child.  I had shared with our community group that God had revealed Himself to me as a father…The Father.

I explained to them that for me to get through this experience, and even just life, I would have to really believe that God was my Father.  I trusted my dad with my life.  I trusted him to give me guidance, provide for me and protect me, even as an adult.  Then why wouldn’t I do that with my heavenly Father!

I want to encourage you to look at God as your true Father and through the eyes of a child.  Be His children.  Trust in Him to take care of you like you were His child….because you are!

God’s power is so real!  Please continue to pray for us.  I am healing daily and we are trusting God to provide.  Please pray for the patients in hospitals everywhere who do not have support, hope, or God in their lives.  It can be a very grim sight.

Remember that God does not just heal the physical and emotional, but He is capable of healing Faith too!

***************************

Thank you for praying for us and for our daughter. Your prayers have contributed to her miracle healing! Enjoy the study & questions and may they spur you on to good works! 

---Ruben & Gayla

Read: Ephesians 6:1-3

Recite: “... that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (v. 3)

Relax: Did you obey your parents when you were young? If you did, why?

Research:

     (v. 1) Continuing the theme of Christian submission, Paul turned next to children. He assumed that children would be in the congregation of believers as this letter was read. By even addressing them–a segment of society that was considered to be virtually without rights –Paul elevated them and invested them with dignity and worth unheard of in the Roman world at the time. His command to them is simple: Obey your parents! This is not an absolute command; when a parent tells a child to do something unbiblical, immoral, or unethical, the law of God supersedes the will of the parent. But, aside from those extremes, children are to unquestionably obey their mothers and fathers. This is the way God intends it. It’s easy to see the immediate practical benefits of this for both children and parents because parents usually do know best.

     The Greek word for “children” (tekna) refers to young children living at home (see also Colossians 3:20, where the same word is used). The word “obey” conveys a stronger demand than the submission required of wives (Ephesians 5: 22). God requires children to obey because children need to rely on the wisdom of their parents. Jesus himself submitted to the authority of his earthly parents, despite his authority as the Messiah (Luke 2:51). All young children will, at times, disobey and test their parents’ limits. As they get older, they will understand why God wants them to obey. Obedience that recognizes parents’ authority can carry over into recognizing God’s authority. God’s plan for his people includes solid family relationships where respect, obedience, submission, and love for one another exists. When both the parents and the children love God, all of them will seek to obey and please him.

     (v. 2-3) Paul added the authority of the revealed law to the natural law described in 6:1, quoting the fifth commandment, recorded in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and mother.” Obeying and honoring are different. To obey means to do what another says to do; to honor means to respect and love. Children are to obey while under their parents’ care, but they must honor their parents for life. This command ends with a promise of a long life, full of blessing. How is this viewed the first commandment with a promise?  It is neither the first commandment, nor the first one with a promise, since the second commandment carries a promise with it. Commentators offer many explanations. Two are most helpful: (1) This is the first commandment (after the first four, which are general commandments) that deals with social involvements and codes for behavior. (2) More likely, this is the first or primary commandment for children to follow, but it holds a promise applicable to them. As children obey the command to honor their parents, they show an attitude of love and respect that they carry over into their relationship with God. Such an attitude provides a community that helps provide for and protect the aged. On the individual level, as each person cares for older people, the elderly live longer, and the younger people help pass the values down to the next generation.

Reflect:

• What is a child’s first responsibility to his or her parents? What reasons does Ephesians 6:1 give?
• What is the difference between honoring and obeying?
• Honoring means ____________________________________________
• Obeying means _____________________________________________
• In Ephesians 6:2-3 what promise does God give to children, young or old, who honor and obey their parents?
• How have you taught your children to obey you? Is it effective? What counsel would you give to brand new parents?
• How are you at obeying and honoring your parents? What needs to change?

Request:  Would you take a moment and ask God to help you to do a better job in instructing your children. For those of you whose children are grown, ask God to reveal to you how you can be a better resource for them as they raise their own children. For those of you whose parents are still living, ask God to help you honor them in their latter years.

“THE TOUGHEST JOB YOU’LL EVER LOVE”

Matthew, Nathan & Tara, Our Kids

Happy Father’s Day!

I always enjoy Father’s Day. It’s a day I look forward to next to my birthday. It always reminds me of how blessed I am to be a father and grandfather.

I don’t take my responsibility as a Father for granted or take it lightly. It’s a serious undertaking. But, in our society we find many who have “fathered” and leave, leaving their children behind to be raised by mom, grandparents, or by themselves. It takes a lot of work, great commitment and sacrifice  to be a real father and to see your kids through to adulthood.

I have three grown children and as I look at them it takes me back to when they were little. It causes me also to look back on my life and  am often convicted and sadden by my inconsistency in raising my kids. I am embarrassed to say as a pastor and as a Christian, on occasion I have provoked them to anger causing them to get bitter, over disciplined them, and been inconsistent in bringing them up according to God’s word. I have too often lived a life in contradiction to God’s word, thus failing to instruct them in the ways of God by the way that I lived.

I thank God for their forgiveness and a second chance. I have intentionally taken my children one by one and asked their forgiveness for what I did and didn’t do. As they say, “It’s all good” now.

God has given me a “do over”. Two of my kids have blessed me with grandkids and now I can actually put into practice what I learned at their expense over the last 35 years.

My adult children have come to acknowledge that the older they get the smarter I become. I love when they come to me for counsel. It validates me as their father and gives me an opportunity to talk to them about how I raised them and about what are the things they need to avoid or enforce.

Both of them now have “teenagers”. Woo hoo! I now enjoy watching them struggle with their own kids in the same area they gave me flack. But there is one thing I know for sure, my boys are there for their children. They are there for the long haul regardless of what their children bring home. What a blessing it is to see them take on the role of being a real Father. Boys, I am proud of both of you. Happy Father’s day.

Enjoy the questions and may they spur you on to good works!

Read: Ephesians 6:4

Recite: “... bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Relax: What TV family, reflects your family? In what ways?

Research:
 
Parental discipline should help children learn, not exasperate and make them angry. In Colossians 3:21, Paul gave the same advice, adding that if children are disciplined in unloving and irresponsible ways, they may become discouraged and resentful. In families of Paul’s day, the father had full legal rights over his children and often ran his household with rigid control. In Jewish families, the fathers were responsible for the education of the children. Paul did not have to establish the fathers’ authority; rather, his aim was to set the limits on harsh treatment. Parenting is not easy–it takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Parents can remove the exasperating effect of their discipline by avoiding nagging, labeling, criticizing, or dominating. Don’t goad your children into resenting you. Paul wrote specifically to fathers because, in that culture, fathers were the absolute head of the home, with complete control and authority. For Paul to say that they needed to treat their children as human beings and consider their feelings was revolutionary. As Christ changed the way husbands and wives related, so he changed the way parents and children related.

Parents ought not provoke their children, and neither should they abandon their responsibility to guide, correct, and discipline them. Parents still have a job to do for their children–to bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. The words “bring up” imply nourishing and cherishing. “Discipline” includes punishment for wrongdoing combined with persistent love (see Proverbs 13:24; 22:6, 15; 23:14), all as part of the “instruction” of a child.

Because many slaves and owners had become Christians, the early church had to deal straightforwardly with the question of master/slave relations. Masters and slaves had to learn how to live together in Christian households. They were to be treated equally in the church. In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves had few rights. In the church, however, they had freedoms that society denied them.

Reflect:

• If you are a father, what Father’s Day was your most memorable? What made it so memorable?
• How would you consider your relationship with your father to be/been? Why? How can you be a better dad?
• What are some ways that we can provoke our children?
• What are some ways that we can cause them to resent us?
• What would your kids say about you as a a dad? Why? What can be improved?

Request:

• Whether your a mom or dad, take a moment and ask God in prayer to help you be the best parent you can possibly be.

“How To Have A Successful Marriage - Part 4”

Relate:

I realize that a varied audience will be reading this. For some of the questions that I have provided for you below, you will have to modify your answers to your specific relational status. If you are single you will want to talk about your joys and struggles in relationships that relate to the two things we will continue talking about this Sunday: sacrifice and respect. Regardless of your relational status, you can AND should learn from God’s word and one another, as a community of God!

I look back to my own upbringing and remember a home where there was not much discussion, or even open affection expressed between my mom and dad. Don’t get me wrong, there was no question in my mind that they loved each other and loved me. I just can’t remember a time when I saw them argue between themselves. I never once felt insecure and thought that they would leave each other.
On the other hand, Gayla’s family was loud, engaged, vocal and too often, even entertaining! I remember the first time I was in her home and witnessed an argument between her parents. I honestly got scared. I didn’t know how to respond.

Now, you take both of those backgrounds and bring them together in marriage, our marriage, and you have a prescription for potential disaster! How in the world do you blend both of these totally different experiences into a way that would honor each other and honor God?

Like many, we had lots of ups and downs early in our marriage even though we were both Christians. I remember when we had the ugliest argument ever and walking away thinking, “This marriage is over!”

The problem with BOTH of the ways we had been raised, is that neither one of us had been trained or modeled for us how to: communicate properly, make decisions, respect each others roles, and how to handle our mistakes and our differences. We didn’t know how to honor Christ in our marriage!  Do you?

We are not blaming our parents, but we have learned from their mistakes and through our own. God is good! We are not where God wants us to be, but we are working at it and a heck of a lot better than we used to be. I am sure that there is no question in our kids minds that we love each other, love them and love Christ, and by His grace, we will continue working towards being the best spouse, parent and grandparent we can be, for His glory!

Come this Sunday and hear a practical message from God’s word, that if you will apply it, will help make your marriage and relationships better.

Enjoy the questions!

Read: Ephesians 5:31-33

Recite: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become on flesh.” (v. 31)

Relax: Did you grow up in a home where you felt secure in your parents “oneness”?

Research:

• Read Genesis 2:18-25. Make a list of the things that Adam experienced in these verses. What is significant about these experiences in terms of God’s design for marriage?

• Why is it important that the principle in Genesis 2:24 was recorded at the very onset of God’s creation? How does this create a paradigm for all marriages? What do you think it means to “commit to oneness”?

• Read Genesis 2:25-3:13. What changed between Genesis 2:25 and 3:7-10? How did this change Adam and Eve’s relationship?

• Read Genesis 3:16-19. How would the relationships between men and women be changed by our fall into sin? After sin entered the world, how can a couple maintain a oneness for which they were created?

• Read Ephesians 5:31-33. Verse 33 gives two commands: one for husbands and one for wives. These commands are intended to address the major marital needs of each spouse. What are the needs and how are they different for each spouse? When you’ve worked through a conflict in your relationship, how do you know that you have fully restored the oneness of your relationship rather than just saying the right thing and moving on?
• When have you experienced a healthy relationship, what kinds of things were you doing to develop and nurture oneness together? Do you find that over time you stopped doing some healthy things that you used to? Is there anything in your life that is driving a wedge between the two of you?

Reflect:

• What is the one thing you can prioritize over the next 30 days to develop oneness in your marriage?

Request:

• How can you or your group pray and encourage one another to honor God in our relationships?