The dictionary program on my Mac Book defines submit as, “to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person”.
I have always been competitive. Beginning in seventh grade wrestling, my goal has always been to submit my opponent. Obviously my first understanding of the word submit was one sided and not a good one.
At the age of fifteen, I came to know Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, which meant that I was submitting my life to Him. This was something entirely new for me. Shortly after making my decision, I started reading the Bible and tried to apply it to my life.
I remember reading a verse in the bible right after getting married to my best friend, the most wonderful girl who has been my life partner for the last thirty six years, Gayla. Reflecting on those moments of making decisions, I recall how difficult it was for me to include and accept her godly counsel. It was as if everything in me rebelled against this! After all Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands ...”
I often wondered, isn’t she supposed to just follow me, submitting to my every whim and not question anything I do? Needless to say, God also created Gayla with opinions, understanding and knowledge and she too often, in my opinion, willfully volunteered it. Boy, did God have a lot of work to do on me. In fact I have not arrived yet, God is STILL working on me! I have to confess that there are still times when Gayla wants to share with me what the Lord is telling her or showing her and I don’t want to listen to her or even consider submitting to her counsel.
I realize that too often I am willing to love, accept, serve, be patient, be kind, bear with others, forgive others and encourage others when I should be giving all of that to the most important person in my life that which God commands me to give to every believer!
My prayer is that my honesty has served to provoke some personal reflection for you. I would hope that you walk away from reading this and do some honest heart searching.
Do you have a healthy understanding on submission? Take a few moments and ask the Lord to help you understand it.
Read: Ephesians 5:21-24
Recite: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (v. 21)
Research: (v. 21) People often misunderstand the concept of submitting to another person. It does not mean becoming totally being passive. Jesus Christ–at whose name every knee will bow (Philippians 2:10)–submitted his will to the Father, and we honor Christ by following his example. When we submit to God, we become more willing to obey his command to submit to others; to subordinate our rights to theirs.
In Paul’s day and culture, women, children, and slaves were to submit to the head of the family. Slaves would submit until they were freed; male children until they grew up; and women and girls their entire lives. Paul emphasized the equality of ALL believers in Christ (Galatians 3:28), but he counseled all believers to submit to one another by choice. This kind of mutual submission preserves order and harmony.
Submission provides evidence that we have Spirit-controlled relationships, and it requires the Holy Spirit’s guidance and restraint (4:2-3). In the church, the believers should be willing to learn from, serve, give to, or be corrected by others in the fellowship. Such submission can allow growth both individually and corporately as the believers seek to follow Christ. Our motive should be reverence (literally, “fear”) for Christ. We should not treat one another rightly just because it is expected or because we will be well regarded, but because one day we must give account to Christ of how we have lived.
(v. 22-24) Submission in the church should follow from submission in the home. The home, the foundation for relationships and personal growth, must be an example of peaceful submission. In a marriage relationship, both husband and wife are called to submit. The relationships between husbands and wives are a microcosm of the larger picture of church relationships between believers.
Paul addressed the wives first, explaining that they were to submit voluntarily to their husbands as they would to the Lord, meaning “as is fitting to the Lord.” This does not mean that the husband is “lord” over the wife. Our concept of submission must come from that which exists between Christ and the church: Christ loves the church, and the church submits to him. We must not base it on either a feminist or chauvinist view. Christian marriage involves mutual submission, placing our own personal desires aside for the good of the loved one and submitting ourselves to Christ as Lord. The wife’s submission to her husband is one way that she can demonstrate her submission to Christ. She does this voluntarily out of love for her husband and for Christ.
Paul explained that a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church. In other words, the husband is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. Real spiritual leadership involves service and sacrifice. Christ as head of the church is also its Savior. Christ gave his life for the church. So, as the church submits to Christ, so the wives must submit to their husbands in everything. A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honoring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in the marriage. For the wife, submission means willingly following her husband’s leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife. Submission is rarely a problem in homes where BOTH partners have a strong relationship with Christ and where each is concerned for the happiness and well-being of the other.
Relax: What or who, do you have difficulty submitting to?
Reflect:
- What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word submit?
- How would you define submission?
- What is a biblical definition of submission? How does this differ from the world’s view of submission? Read 1 Corinthians 11:3
Respond:
- Give five examples of how a wife should show godly submission to her husband.
- Give five examples of how a husband should show godly submission to his wife.
- How can you begin working on these this week?
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