Relate:
We are continuing our study in Ephesians 5 this week and how it affects relationships. Last week we looked at submission and how it affects how we relate to "one another". This week we will be looking at four words or principles found in our text; submit, love, sacrifice and respect.
You are probably feeling like I did when I reviewed this passage in preparation for my message this week. What does this have to do with relating to one another or with marriage?
Well, it has everything to do with it! For instance, as believers, as we learned last week, involves submitting to "... one another out of reverence for Christ". So we submit to one another because it honors Christ.
How about love? Love is a very misunderstood word today. When we hear the word love we usually just think of something sensual and sexual. That's only one kind of love. In the Bible there are four main Greek words for love: eros - the word for “erotic” love. Then there is phileo - brotherly love, which is a friendship kind of love. Thirdly, surgase - which refers to family love, to those with biological connection to you. And then there is agape love - a love that looks beyond your faults and sees your needs. A love that gives (commends) itself for another.
When we examine the text, Paul allows us to see (1) What type of love it is when a man loves a woman and (2) Who exemplifies this kind of love.
So what does agape love look like? This is what I found as I continued to dig deeper into the text:
We are continuing our study in Ephesians 5 this week and how it affects relationships. Last week we looked at submission and how it affects how we relate to "one another". This week we will be looking at four words or principles found in our text; submit, love, sacrifice and respect.
You are probably feeling like I did when I reviewed this passage in preparation for my message this week. What does this have to do with relating to one another or with marriage?
Well, it has everything to do with it! For instance, as believers, as we learned last week, involves submitting to "... one another out of reverence for Christ". So we submit to one another because it honors Christ.
How about love? Love is a very misunderstood word today. When we hear the word love we usually just think of something sensual and sexual. That's only one kind of love. In the Bible there are four main Greek words for love: eros - the word for “erotic” love. Then there is phileo - brotherly love, which is a friendship kind of love. Thirdly, surgase - which refers to family love, to those with biological connection to you. And then there is agape love - a love that looks beyond your faults and sees your needs. A love that gives (commends) itself for another.
When we examine the text, Paul allows us to see (1) What type of love it is when a man loves a woman and (2) Who exemplifies this kind of love.
So what does agape love look like? This is what I found as I continued to dig deeper into the text:
- It is a sacrificing love. (v. 25)
- It is a sanctifying love. (v. 26-28)
- It is a sustaining love. (v. 29a)
- It is a securing love. (v. 29b)
- It is a submissive love. (v. 30)It is a solid love. (v. 31)
As I take inventory of this list and qualities of the kind of love I should have towards my wife first, and then others, I realize just how much work God still has left to do in me.
God has reminded me once again, that I should give to the most important person in my life (my wife) that which I am commanded to give to every believer: love...unselfish, sacrificial love!
God has reminded me once again, that I should give to the most important person in my life (my wife) that which I am commanded to give to every believer: love...unselfish, sacrificial love!
Read: (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Recite: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Research:
(vv. 22-24) Although some people have distorted Paul’s teaching on submission by giving unlimited authority to husbands, we still must address it: Paul told wives to submit to their husbands. The fact that a teaching is not popular is no reason to discard it. According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. But, real spiritual leadership also involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife. A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honoring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.
(vv. 25-28) Why did Paul tell wives to submit and husbands to love? Perhaps the Christian women, newly freed in Christ, found submission difficult; perhaps the Christian men, used to the Roman custom of giving unlimited power to the head of the family, were not used to treating their wives with respect and love. Of course both husbands and wives should submit to each other (5:21), just as both should love each other.
(vv. 26-27) Christ’s death makes the church holy and clean. He cleanses us from the old ways of sin and sets us apart for his special sacred service (Hebrews 10:29; 13:12). Christ cleansed the church by the washing of baptism. Through our baptism, we are prepared for entrance into the church just as ancient Near Eastern brides were prepared for marriage by a ceremonial bath. It is God’s Word that cleanses us (John 17:17; Titus 3:5).
(vv. 25-30) Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her, (2) make her well-being of primary importance, and (3) care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to ever fear submitting to a man who treats her (loves her) in this way.
(vv. 31-33) The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s plan that husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2:24), and Jesus also referred to this plan again (Matthew 19:4-6).
Paul used the marriage relationship as an illustration of the unique relationship between the church and Jesus Christ. He encouraged a loving, caring bond between husbands and their wives. Paul instructed husbands and wives to look to the relationship Christ has with the church as a model for the love, respect, and concern they should have for each other.
Paul used the marriage relationship as an illustration of the unique relationship between the church and Jesus Christ. He encouraged a loving, caring bond between husbands and their wives. Paul instructed husbands and wives to look to the relationship Christ has with the church as a model for the love, respect, and concern they should have for each other.
Relax: In your opinion, what is the most meaningful part of a typical wedding ceremony?
Reflect:
- What instructions does Paul have for a husband and a wife respectively? (5:22, 25)
- What loving actions did Christ demonstrate toward his church? (5:25, 27)
- What is Paul’s measure for how much a man should love his wife? (5:28)
- What illustration does Paul use to describe how much Christ cares for the church? (5:29)
Respond:
- In what ways does Paul’s parallel between Christ’s relationship with the church impact your understanding of the marriage relationship?
- How does picturing the church like “the bride of Christ” impact your understanding of the value of the church now?
- How can churches and small groups help couples with their marriage relationship?
- What is difficult about loving someone as much as you love yourself?
Request: How can you demonstrate your love and respect for your spouse and the church in practical ways?
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