“How To Have A Successful Marriage - Part 4”

Relate:

I realize that a varied audience will be reading this. For some of the questions that I have provided for you below, you will have to modify your answers to your specific relational status. If you are single you will want to talk about your joys and struggles in relationships that relate to the two things we will continue talking about this Sunday: sacrifice and respect. Regardless of your relational status, you can AND should learn from God’s word and one another, as a community of God!

I look back to my own upbringing and remember a home where there was not much discussion, or even open affection expressed between my mom and dad. Don’t get me wrong, there was no question in my mind that they loved each other and loved me. I just can’t remember a time when I saw them argue between themselves. I never once felt insecure and thought that they would leave each other.
On the other hand, Gayla’s family was loud, engaged, vocal and too often, even entertaining! I remember the first time I was in her home and witnessed an argument between her parents. I honestly got scared. I didn’t know how to respond.

Now, you take both of those backgrounds and bring them together in marriage, our marriage, and you have a prescription for potential disaster! How in the world do you blend both of these totally different experiences into a way that would honor each other and honor God?

Like many, we had lots of ups and downs early in our marriage even though we were both Christians. I remember when we had the ugliest argument ever and walking away thinking, “This marriage is over!”

The problem with BOTH of the ways we had been raised, is that neither one of us had been trained or modeled for us how to: communicate properly, make decisions, respect each others roles, and how to handle our mistakes and our differences. We didn’t know how to honor Christ in our marriage!  Do you?

We are not blaming our parents, but we have learned from their mistakes and through our own. God is good! We are not where God wants us to be, but we are working at it and a heck of a lot better than we used to be. I am sure that there is no question in our kids minds that we love each other, love them and love Christ, and by His grace, we will continue working towards being the best spouse, parent and grandparent we can be, for His glory!

Come this Sunday and hear a practical message from God’s word, that if you will apply it, will help make your marriage and relationships better.

Enjoy the questions!

Read: Ephesians 5:31-33

Recite: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become on flesh.” (v. 31)

Relax: Did you grow up in a home where you felt secure in your parents “oneness”?

Research:

• Read Genesis 2:18-25. Make a list of the things that Adam experienced in these verses. What is significant about these experiences in terms of God’s design for marriage?

• Why is it important that the principle in Genesis 2:24 was recorded at the very onset of God’s creation? How does this create a paradigm for all marriages? What do you think it means to “commit to oneness”?

• Read Genesis 2:25-3:13. What changed between Genesis 2:25 and 3:7-10? How did this change Adam and Eve’s relationship?

• Read Genesis 3:16-19. How would the relationships between men and women be changed by our fall into sin? After sin entered the world, how can a couple maintain a oneness for which they were created?

• Read Ephesians 5:31-33. Verse 33 gives two commands: one for husbands and one for wives. These commands are intended to address the major marital needs of each spouse. What are the needs and how are they different for each spouse? When you’ve worked through a conflict in your relationship, how do you know that you have fully restored the oneness of your relationship rather than just saying the right thing and moving on?
• When have you experienced a healthy relationship, what kinds of things were you doing to develop and nurture oneness together? Do you find that over time you stopped doing some healthy things that you used to? Is there anything in your life that is driving a wedge between the two of you?

Reflect:

• What is the one thing you can prioritize over the next 30 days to develop oneness in your marriage?

Request:

• How can you or your group pray and encourage one another to honor God in our relationships?