“THE TOUGHEST JOB YOU’LL EVER LOVE”

Matthew, Nathan & Tara, Our Kids

Happy Father’s Day!

I always enjoy Father’s Day. It’s a day I look forward to next to my birthday. It always reminds me of how blessed I am to be a father and grandfather.

I don’t take my responsibility as a Father for granted or take it lightly. It’s a serious undertaking. But, in our society we find many who have “fathered” and leave, leaving their children behind to be raised by mom, grandparents, or by themselves. It takes a lot of work, great commitment and sacrifice  to be a real father and to see your kids through to adulthood.

I have three grown children and as I look at them it takes me back to when they were little. It causes me also to look back on my life and  am often convicted and sadden by my inconsistency in raising my kids. I am embarrassed to say as a pastor and as a Christian, on occasion I have provoked them to anger causing them to get bitter, over disciplined them, and been inconsistent in bringing them up according to God’s word. I have too often lived a life in contradiction to God’s word, thus failing to instruct them in the ways of God by the way that I lived.

I thank God for their forgiveness and a second chance. I have intentionally taken my children one by one and asked their forgiveness for what I did and didn’t do. As they say, “It’s all good” now.

God has given me a “do over”. Two of my kids have blessed me with grandkids and now I can actually put into practice what I learned at their expense over the last 35 years.

My adult children have come to acknowledge that the older they get the smarter I become. I love when they come to me for counsel. It validates me as their father and gives me an opportunity to talk to them about how I raised them and about what are the things they need to avoid or enforce.

Both of them now have “teenagers”. Woo hoo! I now enjoy watching them struggle with their own kids in the same area they gave me flack. But there is one thing I know for sure, my boys are there for their children. They are there for the long haul regardless of what their children bring home. What a blessing it is to see them take on the role of being a real Father. Boys, I am proud of both of you. Happy Father’s day.

Enjoy the questions and may they spur you on to good works!

Read: Ephesians 6:4

Recite: “... bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Relax: What TV family, reflects your family? In what ways?

Research:
 
Parental discipline should help children learn, not exasperate and make them angry. In Colossians 3:21, Paul gave the same advice, adding that if children are disciplined in unloving and irresponsible ways, they may become discouraged and resentful. In families of Paul’s day, the father had full legal rights over his children and often ran his household with rigid control. In Jewish families, the fathers were responsible for the education of the children. Paul did not have to establish the fathers’ authority; rather, his aim was to set the limits on harsh treatment. Parenting is not easy–it takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Parents can remove the exasperating effect of their discipline by avoiding nagging, labeling, criticizing, or dominating. Don’t goad your children into resenting you. Paul wrote specifically to fathers because, in that culture, fathers were the absolute head of the home, with complete control and authority. For Paul to say that they needed to treat their children as human beings and consider their feelings was revolutionary. As Christ changed the way husbands and wives related, so he changed the way parents and children related.

Parents ought not provoke their children, and neither should they abandon their responsibility to guide, correct, and discipline them. Parents still have a job to do for their children–to bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. The words “bring up” imply nourishing and cherishing. “Discipline” includes punishment for wrongdoing combined with persistent love (see Proverbs 13:24; 22:6, 15; 23:14), all as part of the “instruction” of a child.

Because many slaves and owners had become Christians, the early church had to deal straightforwardly with the question of master/slave relations. Masters and slaves had to learn how to live together in Christian households. They were to be treated equally in the church. In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves had few rights. In the church, however, they had freedoms that society denied them.

Reflect:

• If you are a father, what Father’s Day was your most memorable? What made it so memorable?
• How would you consider your relationship with your father to be/been? Why? How can you be a better dad?
• What are some ways that we can provoke our children?
• What are some ways that we can cause them to resent us?
• What would your kids say about you as a a dad? Why? What can be improved?

Request:

• Whether your a mom or dad, take a moment and ask God in prayer to help you be the best parent you can possibly be.